Black Onyx
by FallenShateiel
Summary: Slash Severus Snape, the arrogant bastard. you could hate him for what he merely represents.HPSS completed
1. Default Chapter

_**CHAPTER 1**_

_I once heard a tale of a man _

_Who split himself in two. _

_The one part never changed at all;_

_The other grew and grew._

_The changeless part was always true,_

_The growing part was always new,_

_And I wondered, when the tale was through,_

_Which part was me, and which was you._

- ORSON SCOTT CARD

THE GOD WHISPERS OF

HAN QING- JAO

* * *

He can feel it in his bones. Like a thousand daggers ripping through his heart and destroying him over and over again…

But he won't die.

He never does.

'_I want to die.'_

The thought has never occurred to him.

Not surprising. To want to die from pain was pointless.

Might as well do something before you become just another corpse taking up the ground or being burned and leaving a horrendous smell.

"Get up."

His body detests him for obeying.

"Turn around."

His heart is trying to stop beating.

"Scream."

'_I want to die.'_

Sometimes he just wishes that it will happen…

But it never does.

* * *

"… oh really? And why should we trust a _snake _like _you?_" The man that sits across the table has only but one eye. The other is a round ball of blue. His face marred all over.

_An Auror._

Dark onyx dull. No more light. No more soul. Too tired for a man whose passion landed him in _Hell…_

" Well, you could choose to believe me or you can suffer the guilt of a hundred dead children." No more sneer, no more smirks.

_Nothing. _

The Auror says nothing and glares.

"And what makes you think that these children are in trouble. Except the fact that you interpreted such thoughts from your _Master?"_ a woman no older than her twenties scathingly asks. Her bleach blonde hair turning pink.

The onyx darkens to nothing.

"That is for me to know and you to mind your own business." Quietly spoken, the voice of a man who will not be taken for a fool.

That simple declaration is all it takes for a long argument to issue.

And after awhile no one notices as the dark dull onyx leaves the room.

* * *

No will show. He's been here hiding for an hour watching the children play in the Courtyard of the orphanage. Children of every size and race. Children who know nothing of evil and are scared by a spider.

Children that are born not to Darkness and Death.

Children that are about to die.

An hour and not one soul will believe him. Not one soul will stop the Massacre that is about to happen.

Simply because it was _he _who said it.

The sounds of screaming fill his ears. The sounds of children crying and maternal caretakers screaming.

The world is cruel.

But the man knows that.

He knows that because his entire life was full of that. The bullies, the abuse that no child should have to go through.

Closing his eyes, he can still hear it. Still smell the stink and taste the burning souls as they take flight from the bodies.

He can still hear the small screams of children who should never have to scream like that.

But he won't cry.

He can't.

He cannot allow weakness. He has no weakness. He is strong. More strong than any other human being he has ever met.

But that doesn't mean he doesn't want to.

That doesn't mean that as he crouches in this darkness, that he doesn't want to risk it all and save the children.

The children who still scrawl their names. The ones who can barely pronounce their "Sh" without mixing up with "Ch".

But he must stay strong.

He must be as cold as their statue of Christ. The one who lies on the cross for days, bleeding to death for a cause he believes in.

For he is a man who knows there is no good or evil… there is only what feels right and what feels wrong.

The screams that fill his ears feel wrong.

But staying behind in the shadows feels right.

He can see the tears that don't want to fall.

And he dies a little inside.

* * *

No one has come.

But when it becomes apparent that the Death Eater's have had their fill, the onyx eyes come out of the shadows.

Walking out of the shadows, the onyx man glides towards the orphanage.

No thoughts. No emotion.

_Nothing._

Picking up the lifeless bodies he moves them to lie next to each other in the Courtyard.

For an hour he does this.

The lifting of every body and placing them in the Courtyard, with no thoughts.

Aligning the small baby like limbs to the chest. Closing each horrified eyes.

Even when he hears his name, he cannot stop.

"Severus?"

Even if that person who spoke the name is trying to pry his fingers from holding onto a little girl with black hair… her small baby like clothes ripped in shreds. The blood dripping down her small porcelain thighs.

Even if the tears refuse to come and the eyes refuse to show the pain that he might've known had he the emotions.

He continues to look as though ice was freezing him.

They didn't come.

And he hated them…

* * *

He could feel the stares at his back. But there was no need to turn around to see their animosity.

Why should he?

They didn't believe _him._

Why should he turn around if only to face the accusations in their eyes.

Why should he have to defend himself?

Why should he _have_ to give reasons to live anymore?

Why should he not sleep…

Forever more.

* * *

The bright green emerald eyes flare out at him. Anger.

But the black onyx doesn't care.

He does not react as he's called a filthy Death Eater.

Doesn't look at the face of a boy whose hatred tears at his conscience…

No, he only waits for his Savior to come back and save him from these stares.

He awaits for the arrival of his new Master.

He doesn't react when the fist connects with his jaw. Or when he goes down on his knees as the kicking to his face and torso starts.

He uses that same god- awful non-feeling ice that he uses for the 'Crusio'.

The taste of copper is in his mouth. And the beating has stopped.

Another lonesome soul crying reaches his heart.

And for the first time since he was remotely human… he holds that other soul.

Cradling that tired and sad soul to his heart.

Severus Snape is not weak.

The Head of Slytherin, will not be weakened.

Not ever.

* * *

**SITTING**

The degree of nothingness

Is important:

To sit empty

In the sun

Receiving fire

That is the way

To mend

An extraordinary world,

Sitting perfectly

Still

And only

Remotely human.

-Phyllis Webb

* * *

"How old are you?" the question is spoken with caution.

Looking up into the face of a man whose good- natured features are more worn for tear than his own… Black Onyx is silent.

Then,

"Ancient." One word. So many meanings.

The other man says nothing. His grey hairs that stand out from his brown hair glisten in the sunlight.

The sadness in his heart is nearly reflected in his eyes.

And the smell of envy is reaching his senses. The overpowering envy that the man with the cold hard stare has for his open emotion.

"Why did you let Harry hurt you like that?" well, curiosity does kill the cat.

Silence.

"We all need to hate something."

Astonishment as the other man gets up to leave.

* * *

If you were to tell a man that Severus Snape loved… was an excellent lover.

Would they believe you?

Perhaps not.

But being an Ex- Death Eater, the only spy this side of the war they had. They kept tabs on him. Not letting him out of their sights and fore tailing him whenever it deemed appropriate.

_Not that the snarky bastard knew it. _

That was the general thought that most of the members of the Order thought about it.

Especially the one who was watching him tonight.

The dragon tooth earring dangling in the dim light.

But there was no thoughts going through his head as he watched one of the men he loathed.

No thoughts as he watched the cold irreproachable Potions Master, enchant without magic.

The slow seduction as he moved on the dance floor of the Muggle establishment.

The dancing partners coming to him as though he was a magnet. Or like he was a polar icicle, that desperately needed to be heated up.

The genders ranged from all sorts. Big women, young boys. Black, blue hair.

Everyone in here wanted him. Wanted his cold unyielding eyes to unfoccuss in desire as he looked at them. Wanted those vampire like teeth to sink into their flesh and claim them into a dark abyss…

Wanted to feel the gentle and rough hands… wanted to warm the cold flesh with their own passion.

Wanted to feel lust as an art like this man pins his desires on.

The red haired man in the corner with the dragon tooth earring, watches this. Deciding to get drunk as fast as possible.

* * *

_Another week. Another day. Another hour._

_Will it not end for me? _

_Will I not feel anymore?_

_Will another body in my bed not warm me?_

_I am tired. _

_I am old._

_I am nothing._

_No longer even remotely human….

* * *

_

A/N: so what do you think? Should I continue?


	2. Hypocrites

A/N: this chapter will be modified to include HBP. I don't think that it'll change much… anyways I want to bitch about my day… but I won't… I'll wait for some unfortunate poll caller to phone for that.

**Chapter Two **

**_Hypocrites _**

_Your messiah was never mine x10 _

_Hypocrites! _

_Weeping rows of Jeremiah _

_Drops of blood drip off your medals _

_Representing all our tears _

_in a ring of burning metal _

_How you wanna be, what you gonna say _

_it doesn't bother me, who ya gonna pay _

_Sorcerers and Satan's come _

_To define the what and why _

_People travel across this earth _

_Over water, land, and sky _

_How you wanna be, what you gonna say _

_it doesn't bother me, who ya gonna pay _

_Pay the ferryman, pay the fucking driver _

_Pay the preachers and pay the fucking liars _

_Pay the bitches they're touching on they're dates, stand by _

_I'm not gonna pay it's already mine _

_Hypocrites _

_I'm gonna do it blind _

_Hypocrites _

_I'm gonna do it blind _

_Hypocrites _

_I'm gonna do it blind _

_Hypocrites _

_Your messiah was never mine _

_Weeping rows of Jeremiah _

_Purity unlike no other _

_Offers help to those who need it _

_Don't forget care to the brother _

_How you wanna be, what you gonna say it _

_Doesn't bother me, who ya gonna pay _

_Little old lady at home _

_Writing out a check to send _

_It's all the money that she owns _

_She believes the world might end _

_How you wanna be, what you gonna say it _

_Doesn't bother me, who ya gonna pay _

_Pay the ferryman, pay the fucking driver _

_Pay the preachers and pay the fucking liars _

_Pay the bitches they're touching on they're dates, stand by _

_I'm not gonna pay it's already mine _

_Hypocrites _

_I'm gonna do it blind _

_Hypocrites _

_I'm gonna do it blind _

_Hypocrites _

_I'm gonna do it blind _

_Hypocrites _

_Your messiah was never mine _

_Hypocrites! _

_Pay the ferryman, pay the fucking driver _

_Pay the preachers and pay the fucking liars _

_Pay the bitches they're touching on their dates, stand by _

_I'm not gonna pay it's already mine _

_Hypocrites! x4 _

**_Korn_ **

It's like a horror dream. All of this hatred he feels and loathing for everything he touches.

When he had apparated to his Safe Spot and tried to calm down for all the adrenaline and hatred that was coursing through his veins. With bated breath and a headache. He didn't really know what he had just done only that he liked what he had done.

Death was finding itself stained on his hands. It was sweet and bitter with the right amount of disgust.

It was like a bad dream. Only one of the things that this dark figure would never even dream of doing had been done. It startled him for a moment as he tried to calm down his thoughts.

All he could really remember was the feeling of hate towards both the man who saved his life and the boy who couldn't ever let him alone.

It has been a feeling that has followed this man since the beginning of his adolescence. The pure, unadulterated resentment that never wavered.

It doesn't matter that perhaps the boy felt the same way. What mattered was all the resentment and the lack of fulfillment that the old man had put him through. What mattered was that this same old man had decided to play with his life again.

What mattered was that this old man didn't give a shit about him because _he _was suppose to be strong and surly all of the time.

Cold anger makes the deadliest of allies.

--------------------------------------------------

Black onyx. The stone is precious. People have killed for it simply for both the vulgarness and value.

Few have been given away.

This one was.

Yet like a rock it refused to break. Refused to give into the hell that surrounded itself. One could blame society for the misgivings of this damned.

But what would be the point?

There are people who are going to say that they suspected all along when no such thing was true. Trust the old for they are wise.

_What a load of shit._

Severus Snape knows who the truly wise are. They are the ones who know what being _tired _is and what _exhaustion _becomes.

It's like the difference between a housewife whose walked about 12 miles in one day. If you let her alone she'll be tired, if you ask her then she's exhausted. Yet ask a man whose about to be crucified, he won't tell you because the exhaustion has settled in…

Black Onyx knows what it means to be tired. Yet for a vast majority of his rather obtuse life he has also known the brink of exhaustion. It should bother him at least just a little… but the knowledge is different than actually knowing. Sort of like when he watched Regulus Black slowly go to the exhaustion.

It resulted in death. A wanted death… but Severus doesn't want to die. It's a vulnerability that the Black Onyx can't go to… too … too… blind.

It is cold outside.

Yet Black Onyx loves the cold. It makes it so that the pain he feels becomes his only warmth. In the same way that those imbeciles use that damned butterbeer to warm themselves.

A person as closed and calculated, as Severus Snape does not indulge in such materialistic things. Its like the way that one expects the blind to appreciate just the classical music of Bach… or the deaf to appraise paintings with religious fanaticism.

No, the pain is warm and full of passion. Just as the repugnant odours of potions are passionate. It would be a mistake to say that they are the only passion in the life of Severus Snape, Black Onyx.

--------------------------------------------

_"Papa, what is this?" _

_ "…Where's your Mother…" _

That was the voice that somehow came to him in the worst of times. The way that it attacked him reminding Snape that it wasn't so implausible for him to have become as he has.

But tonight in this insistent calm of twilight is not the time to think of it. After all it only serves to drive one insane with guilt, as a wise old fool once said… yet he is no fool any longer…

Snape throws his head back letting out a bark of laughter. it alarms a group of alley-cats but other than that nothing happens.

------------------------------

_The Dark Lord. _

Is there anyone whose presence commands one to bow and hope to have never been conceived.

_Black Onyx. _

It seems like an alter ego way to think of oneself sometimes.

Just like how _Half Blood Prince_ seemed that Once Upon a Time Ago.

If one were honest with oneself, they would realize how tedious it all seems… especially for one who has sailed on a broken ship for so long. It being the entire _goodness_… what's the point on going on with it anymore. Its redundant and rather revolting.

At least to Severus Snape…

---------------------------

The night is cold. Desolate and depressing.

_Oh woe is thy heart… _

Enough of these thoughts…

There's a little boy with blonde hair waiting to be told to bow before a monster. There's a little prick with emerald eyes waiting with a death sentence. There's a grave with the body of an old man who never could love the onyx frozen in ice waiting for some sort of penance.

The hooded man looks up to the sky. With a mean smirk curling on his thin lips.

_But we won't give any. _


	3. Welcome

**_A/N:_**_ this chapter will be longer and more informative as to the plot I want to go into the direction of…seeing as how that barely happens I can only tell you that there will be no romance since I feel that a Harry/Snape is a rather gag worthy thing…though I don't mind reading it. _

**Chapter 3 **

**Welcome **

_Welcome, _

_To the Solders Side _

_Where there's no one here but me. _

_-SOAD _

Sometimes when the dead are feeling charitable they don't feel the need to torture the damned. Or at least to allow sleep to fall upon them before the inevitable _karma _comes

_Karma_ is there anything else so disgusting?

Probably.

But that's not the point.

The point is that Severus Snape is losing his mind. Well, whatever sanity that he had left.

Maybe he'll think of his life story… when his father used to beat him and his mother. Or when that aunt of his called him a half- breed monster who didn't deserve to have such a pure- blooded mother…or Black and Potter's gang of imbeciles attacking him wherever he went…

Perhaps he should offer himself the images of his earlier Death Eater days before the bumbling old fool seduced him into the awful concept of 'good'.

"_The most loneliest day of my life…_" Oh Merlin, what did Black Onyx do to deserve this?

When he was 18 and watched the torture of a young pregnant woman he kept asking himself when the day of redemption was to come.

When he was 19 and happened to have his mother in a coffin and his father on a 'Missing Person' list. He'd asked to be saved…

When he was 20 he was asked by the Dark Lord himself to become a spy.

"_Of course my Lord_."

Those four words served as his life for the next twenty, _almost_ twenty years. Spying and finding out the prophecy then forging a relationship with The Old Fool. It would be a lie to say that he didn't see all of the bad baggage coming because he did.

Though he didn't expect that The Old Fool would mean so much to him… enough to make him ache as he hasn't since he walked in and watched his father strangle his mother. Enough to make it seem as though the darkness that resides in him quench to allow the sadness overtake him. He remembers once when he was happy, but it was brief.

That was being truly happy without any cause. Laughing without a reason as children do… but he hasn't been a child for a long time. Happy to this 39, 40 year old is a long and forgotten thing. Happy is when he feels gratified for being alive even though by all rights he should be dead.

Happy was when he was handed a lemon drop and told to tell his tale of woe.

"_Snivellus…_ what a way to talk of oneself." The voice is cold and dead.

Turning around in panic it was all that Black Onyx could do not to scream.

"What… who's there?" Silence.

"Show yourself!"

_I'm afraid of madness. _

---------------------------------------------------

At night Severus Snape thinks of things that are best to be left alone.

Tonight after listening to the young Malfoy's sniffles, he thinks of what could have been but never was.

_Do you remember Evans? _

_ **Yes. **_

****_How about Potter? _

_ **Yes. **_

****_And Black? _

_ **Yes. **_

****_Do you remember how it hurt? _

_ **Which one? I've had a thousand. **_

****_The werewolf. The underwear. The hexes to destroy your hair, all of those and more. _

**_Yes… _**

****_Don't cry. Not tonight. _

_ **No. I didn't cry then. I won't cry now. **_

****To be emotional is to be weak. To be passionate was to be vulnerable…

When he was in school he was The Half-Blood Prince. Now he's just Black Onyx…

"Severus… I can't sleep." It's a small voice that is barely above a whisper. Snape looks over at the boy Malfoy.

"Draco, there's something I must ask of you." He really doesn't want to but there is no other way. After all he promised to protect this tactless boy.

The grey eyes swollen with tears no doubt shed every night. "What?"

Severus Snape sighs…

---------------------------------------------

Black Onyx is alone now…

And there is a demon in his mind. It has the voice of many rivals… sometimes his father, others its Black.

Draco is gone. To a place that can protect him better than he.

He's alone now. All his nightmares fallen into place.

Not to worry this cold and ruthless man will not break.

But that werewolf is coming. Looking for him because the Dark Lord has not been able to find him.

No, not Lupin. That man would not lower himself to such a disgusting and degrading manner as to hunt for the smell of a traitor.

Ironic really to be a traitor to both sides, while meaning to stay faithful to one of them.

To be faithful and serve under the Dark Lord while trying to appease The Old Fool.

It never really worked. After all Black Onyx may be made of stone but Severus Snape never really was. The Old Fool got to him, as did the Dark Lord…

But Black Onyx (former Half- Blood Prince) was all his own. Never anybody else's to command. He was the brilliant student who stuck up for himself against the bullies in school. He was the one who stood at his mother's funeral holding himself together.

He's thought of this often. Thinking that it would be stupid to assume he knew what he was doing as he held up that wand and killed The Old Fool… He was Black Onyx… standing up for himself against a wizard who should have died and left you in peace years ago.

He was Severus Snape as he screamed at Potter and told him to basically 'Fuck Off!' Allowing the boy to believe he would go back to the Dark Lord.

---------------------------------------------------------

The moon is out. It's a half moon meaning that in a couple of nights all the monsters that used to haunt him as a child will come out.

Black Onyx feels like a child.

Quivering as he does on this deserted Muggle bench. It's ridiculous to assume that he had somewhere to go. There was no one who was out to help him.

Draco would have someone to help him. Even if he was interrogated until his voice grew hoarse.

It's a comforting thought.

--------------------------------------------------------


	4. Rose Garden

**ARGGG I HATE SIRIUS!**_ I do but I don't know why. Also I've devoloped the whole new Black Onyx/ Severus Snape thing._

**Chapter 4**

**Rose Garden **

_I beg your pardon _

_I never promised you a rose garden _

_Along with the sunshine _

_There's gotta be a little rain sometime. _

_-**Lynn Anderson **_

****

Sometimes, when he squeezes his eyes real tight he can see the stars as they were meant to be seen.

The night air is so full of freshness… it reminds Severus Snape of someone. Someone who had that outdoors smell, rather sensuous…

**_Remus Lupin._**

Black Onyx scoffs… after all Lupin is a weak and naïve werewolf.

Severus Snape sneers… after all Lupin is a disgusting _half-breed._ Though granted he wasn't as bad as Greyback… he was _is _still a disgusting Know- It- All- Gotta- Be- Nice- to- Everybody…

All in all everyone's idea of a disgusting grotesque person.

Well, granted _maybe_ not everyone's.

But Severus Snape is a bitter man…

But that's a renowned trait for him.

-------------------------------------------

The wind is cold tonight. Winter seems to be fast approaching. Though with all that damned talk of global warming you'd think that it would never come.

Black Onyx likes everything cold… the whole 'warm summers night' is a repulsive idea… though granted there are some nights where one likes to be reminded that they are human beings with human temperatures.

These are rare however, so no big problem.

Severus Snape thinks about the past. Not the whole 'I was a teenage dirt bag' past, but past sayings that used to be popular along with the spells.

At one time or another it had been nice to be a kid. Even if being said kid was basically being an obsessive compulsive book worm eater not to mention a bastard. Though through a smug work of pride Severus Snape would have to say that he was quite good a being a 'god awful bastard.'

It seems unreasonable to ask some Higher Power to help him.

But this Slytherin has never been very reasonable.

---------------------------------------

In South America the Natives believed in The Coming of the Giants… where the earth was moulded and made by the giants that would come out of the sky. Like comets falling to the earth it was foretold that they would someday come back to earth to redeem the human race.

There is another story on the crystal skulls that would teach the world how to live if only we could find them all. So far three Muggles in history have been able to find them. No self- respecting wizard would lower himself to such a thing!

Which if you actually bother to sit down and think about it, is an irony in itself.

Black Onyx never talks to himself… he doesn't need to.

Severus Snape thinks thoughts that weigh as ashes on his semi- conscious mind… he feels he has to.

-------------------------------------

"It's mornin' time." The hoarseness of his voice clearly dictates that he hasn't spoken nor coughed in a long time.

"I'll keep on walkin'…" And so he will indeed.

For someone whose life long passion has been to be alone and left to his own advices. It seems like loneliness on the verge of madness that Severus Snape is veering towards.

If The Old Fool was alive today he would have a field day knowing what sort of hell his ex-_spy_ was going through. That or he would be upset and sad.

Fool.

-----------------------------------

"I know you're around here _Snape_." The last sentence is spoken with so much venom.

Black Onyx doesn't answer just continues to crouch behind the overgrown root. While the shoes crunch on the dead and fallen leaves. Back and forth they pace…

It reminds Severus Snape of WW2, the little he was taught. The fear smashing against his weak rib cage as his head screams. It is rather frightening… as it must have been for those who hid in the ghettos or concentration camps.

But it is all of little matter when you get right down to it. These words that dwell upon themselves.

"Come on, come on… wherever you are…"

**_"Fight Back! Fight back you cowardly-" _**

Who would have guessed the insolent brat would be correct.

Greyback was still stalking around apparently trying to smell him out. It's hard to smell someone out after they've cast wards around themselves and lead the _smeller _into a clearing full of over pungent belladonna plants.

Meanwhile the _smellee _stayed crouched right where he was and tried not to make a sound. Which when thought about isn't very hard considering he's spent his entire life being silent.

"I'll find you… the Dark Lord isn't very happy with you. After all why hide when you've killed to stay alive?"

Ah, such logic there addlebrains…

-----------------------------------------

There was a time when Severus Snape wasn't envious. There was a time when Severus Snape loved. There was a time when Severus Snape learned to listen with respect and not be coaxed to do something completely Gryffindorish---

Now wasn't the time.

Taking a rock and levitating it right over the werewolf head he dropped it.

Then did the Slytherin thing, running away.

At this time he was out of breath and hacking the way his father hacked when he smoked his two packs a day cigarettes. There was a bit of blood on his left hand when he took it away from his mouth.

If Snape has pneumonia _someone _is going to pay. He watched his paternal grandmother basically die of pneumonia in a Muggle hospital as a kid. No way in hell is he going to be.

Stupid Muggles.

They have it easy. They don't live in the 15th century with the 14th century jurisdictions.

Maybe Snape should have stayed there.

It would have been a hell of a lot better than here.

_Wheeze wheeze wheeze… _

"FUCCCCCKKKK!"

Sometimes it's just easy to be an asshole.

Well, maybe not sometimes… more like most of the time.

With relish…

"I want a hotdog." It's been what? 5 years since that unhealthy indulgence.

"You might want to wait until you're dead."

_Holy Shit. _

-----------------------------

There are times when Black Onyx is the most intelligent man in the world. And there are times when Severus Snape gets a hold of his own mind and muddles everything up.

This, is one of those times.

The boy's eyes are vivid bottle green; very much his mother's eyes.

It's unnerving to say none the least. It makes even Black Onyx take the fatal step back.

"What is it Potter? Don't you----" _Want to wait for me to hack up this lung?_

"Don't I what?" By God he looks demonic. "Want to know why you sent Malfoy to the Order when you should have known that we would only want to kill the lot of you?"

Severus Snape notices how thick his tongue is along with the cracked lips and sour breath.

It's disgusting really.

"Raise your wand higher boy. You can use a Stunning Spell and I will keel over to pray…" Which one of his relatives was the religious fanatic?

The boy is staring at him funny. As if he is some bizarre animal that must be kept detached from human emotion.

"I would kill you Death Eater, but I have questions that you _will _answer." The demand is said with a toneless if not dead voice.

"As you wish _Chosen One._" Mockery is something rather precious to Black Onyx; with an added bow to complete this set of insults.

The wand that is pointed at his head is lowered slightly.

"Why did you do it?" His voice is low, obviously finally hitting puberty.

"I've lived too long." How true.

"How come you're not kissing the feet of your _Master._"

"I've many _masters _but one was either wearing pink slippers or had a snake crawling around it's feet" Severus Snape can't help the cold smirk that appears on his face. " So you can see why I prefer not to kiss _their _feet."

The boy takes a step closer to Snape. Trying to stand over him like a sex fiend stands over the victim.

Severus Snape is tired of being the victim.

"_You _will tell me." Such a nice request Potter.

"Hmm…no I don't think I will." The boy looks rather pissed off now.

Puur… fect.

_Oh god did I just think that? _

"I hate you."

"Oh and I suppose I _just_ adore you?" Godammit his chest hurt.

A scowl etched on the boy's pale face is his reward. A fitting one at that.

"I'd kill you."

"Then do it."

"Tell me the truth."

"There is no such thing as truth." That's been his philosophy since the age of twelve.

The boy says nothing. "Dumbledore believed in truth."

Black Onyx stares at the boy and his lowered wand. There really is nothing that could express how much this conflicts the already destroyed man.

"He was a fool. There is no truth nor honesty… if there was none of this would exist. Wizards are the Dark Side, the ones who are conservative and vicious. Wizards care nothing for the earth… that is why so many creatures hate us. For those who are not full of magic and thus full of self- importance, it is hard not to be blinded by the brutality of the earth…"

Potter is staring at him just as strangely as he did when his grandfather died and he was forced to get along with Snape. The way his eyes either widened in pity or wonder after he stepped out of the Pensieve.

"I'm dying. You're dying. Death comes at the dawn of life… we are the dead as we are born, the air around us contains a gas that kills our bodies forcing age and contempt. We have minds that can either destroy or protect us from evil. There are those of us who have the capacity to love and those who don't…" At this Black Onyx stops for a moment. "I am a man who deserves death and has since the age of sixteen. Every year I have waited in anxiety for it to come. For all the betrayal and humiliation I have caused. For all the pain and hurt I have felt.

Yet as I wait there are more who die. Those who are children and those who have strived all their lives to achieve happiness." Looking into the green eyes Severus Snape can almost see that girl who tried to help those many years ago. "I embrace death. For I am dying just as Dumbledore was dying… I've been dying since the day I was born; with that knowledge I take my sins of murder with me."

Potter has come closer.

"Did he tell you to kill him?" The eyes are pleading for a 'yes'.

"No." Don't cry. He was just The Old Fool.

"…then why…" How sad.

"Because I could. Because I would. Because I needed to end the suffering of a man who should have died long ago…"

"Why did he trust you…" There are bags underneath his eyes.

"… because I… I loved him with all my heart…" There it was. "I loved him beyond my capacity to love someone. I gave him my devotion and worshipped the moon under him. I dreamt of carnal thoughts, while receiving only the platonic…"

"Snape…"

"I loved him because he was the Light and my world was the Dark. I'm a whore for power… a victim of its gluttony…" Severus Snape looks up. "Will you be Draco's Light Potter? Could you withhold your disgust for him and give it to me?"

------------------------------------------------------- 


	5. Sarcastic

**_Chpt. 5 _**

**Sarcastic **

_Yeah, what kind of mental patient kills herself? That's just crazy. _

_- Constantine the movie _

AGO.

When Severus Snape was a kid that seemed like an actual place. Where the beginning of the world was without the monsters and humans. Where there were no philosophical questions that are pointless and used to fill the leisure time one receives.

There were stories from ancient Egypt and the Sumerians that seemed to answer all; Simplified reasons to simple existence.

Now all it is _essential _**bullshit. **

After all who cares what happens when you're dead. Are all the religions some sort of gimmick used for people who obviously lack the thought of just accepting things as they are.

But Black Onyx doesn't seem to worry of such things. It's a foolhardy game that no one wins and everyone is losing.

Ago. Like in a make- believe story Ago seemed to be the place that only children know. Where monsters are conquered and there seemed to be a true _good _or _evil._ The place where Shakespeare dwelt with all his romantic ideals, Milton with all his condensation, Dante along with the damnation…

Dumbledore with all his Love.

Ago. That is what Hogwarts is to most. The place of magic and battles between the devils and humans. The place where all things are supposed to be accepted, but in Face of the Truth nothing has ever been accepted.

Number 12 Grimmauld Place is not Ago…

It is the house of his enemies…

Some poet must have said once.

-----------------------------------------------

"Sometimes I wonder what I would scream out if I were insane." He's talking to a mirror. It's the only thing to talk to in the house…

Besides the portraits. _But hell, he ain't that crazy… _

Though there are times when he wonders if he isn't.

That has no matter at the moment. Someone from the Order has yet to show up, and he will not allow himself to lose sense as the duration of such a confrontation commences.

There are sounds of the door slamming and that blasted woman screeching.

If Severus Snape had a cigarette with a lighter he knew that it would end up in smoking the bloody hag into a pile of ashes.

Of course he didn't actually have the privilege to die of lung cancer or play with fire. In fact he didn't have his wand any more.

_Fuckin' Potter. _

There are people talking and coming closer to the room that Severus Snape is standing in. If it were possible he would be trembling in fear or anxiety. Alas, it is Black Onyx who would be making these peoples acquaintance.

"_Snape_, you murderous scum! What the hell do you think you're doing sucking up to Harry like that?" The venom in the voice has Severus Snape wondering whether or not he should just duck and cover.

The old man with the wooden leg and gnarled features glares at Black Onyx. The magical eye spinning out of control.

"You are a freakish man aren't you Mad Eye." Ok so that wasn't actually what he had meant to say. The absent malicious tone of his voice sounded vaguely of Sybil high on Mary Jane.

"Don't you dare talk to me like that you worthless piece of scum!" The snarl is most prominent.

Black Onyx can't stop the sharp bark that emits from his mouth.

"Why not kill me? Merlin, God, Baa, all the Higher Powers know that you want to." The mild calm voice is slightly verging on the edge of hysteria.

After a moment of staring at the incredulous face Black Onyx goes back to looking in the mirror. With its too long protruding nose, the sallow cheeks, the lines that seemed to cover the pale sick looking face. Dark Onyx eyes glinting without any expression.

Perhaps death would be kind enough to wipe these too deep lines away…

Fat chance.

"I would _Death Eater _don't put it past me."

"I'll be knife won't I? Kill me as you would want to, but please let me be the one insinuates the first wound." _Because it's easier to think suicide than death? _

It'll be the first decision of my life.

_How true. _

Another person walks into the room. The man is black and quietly powerful.

"Relax Alastor no need to lose your head over this." His deep treble voice makes Severus Snape remember Hagrid and Hogwarts. The taste of lemon drops on his tongue.

"Harry will be here tonight for a meeting you _will _attend." Ah, but of course.

"Where is Draco?"

"Somewhere safe."

----------------------------------------

The clothes that were lying on the bed were Muggle. It has been nearly two decades since Severus Snape had worn Muggle clothing. The pants shaped his legs into long stalks, the buttoned shirt reminds Severus Snape of his father and the way his beer belly protruded outward to stretch the buttons. His hair is too long, yet all too telling white hairs pop up.

Severus Snape feels old. Old and bitter just like his father. Old and exhausted just like his mother.

_You think it's unfair. _

The last time that Severus Snape had worn pants tight bell-bottoms were all the rage. The Ramones blared in the background and gay pride was still frowned upon. The feminist view was everything; John Lennon would be shot… the world that was peaceful in the end of the Vietnam War.

The end of the Seventies… an era that cannot be repeated. With the drugs, sex and rock and roll. Where no one really knew about AIDS. Where music was the soul of the world. Where being modern was not such a ridiculous concept…

These clothes that are on the grown up boy who used to scream with Led Zepplin and was raging against Nixon and every other political leader. Where everything religious was scoffed at…

**I feel old. **

_Do you dig it? _

A sequence of quiet chuckles escapes Severus Snapes' mouth.

-------------------------

"How the hell can you live with yourself?" The remark is made by a hotheaded redhead. Which one? Does it matter?

**Well, you see my body is like a house. **

"That Weasley is not at question."

"I don't care. You killed Dumbledore."

"I'm glad you've finally learned to pay attention." This is delivered with a smirk.

The cold silence is met with a sentiment

"You're a fuckin' bastard."

"On the contrary I don't fuck and my parents were married."

Harry Potter clears his throat sending Weasley a look.

"Snape you've been hiding from both the Dark Side and the rest of the Wizarding world." At this Potter fixes his fiercely determined eyes on Severus Snape.

Black Onyx replies, "Did anyone look?"

"Why are you hiding from your Master---"

"I've become weary of _Masters." _

"Answer the question!"

"I am Potter."

"No you're not."

"Then what are these sounds coming from my moving mouth."

At this a frustrated noise is made from the boy that Severus Snape used to terrify.

"If you don't tell us--"

"I did."

"That wasn't an answer!"

"Pay attention _Chosen One, _I _don't _**want **any Masters." The scathing tone of voice grinds on even Black Onyx's nerves.

**Not everything needs a drawn out telling you fucking little--- **

"Why did you kill him?"

Fixing the boy with a sweet smile that transformed his weary face into a handsome world-weary man. "Because I could."

--------------------------------------

There's several ways that someone may analyze oneself.

Not that any of them are useful.

But when you insult the jury and destroy the one chance you have at being appealed once a _war _ends… it kinda makes you think you're an asshole.

Which was true before, but at least he could dig a hole and lie in it before facing the consequences.

Now he had to stay in _his bedroom _like a child.

Not that the mangled old man didn't get a kick out of it.

Fuckface.

"Well Snape, I wouldn't have had to resort to that if you had just cooperated."

"Does my privacy count for nothing Potter?"

"No."

"Go away."

----------------------------------------------

**A/N: Seriously it doesn't matter what you write but review… it makes me wonder if my writing does suck.**


	6. Constant Vigilance

**_Chpt. 6 _**

**A/N: Ok good criticism…keep it going. But first to explain myself-- **

**I don't usually pay attention to the _actual _story, mainly because I don't really know what to write next so I just put a bunch of stuff down and start from there. I realize that it probably debauches the story, however I will start proof- reading. Maybe a few suggestions or advice would help. **

**Second, I have made Snape a bit more Muggle than I initially planned. But I figured since in OOP Potter seen that memory of Snapes' father and in HBP Snapes' father turns out to be a Muggle, that he would have lost himself in the Muggle world in order to get away… possibly (hint hint) his father took the Wizarding World close to heart and began to resent Snape and his wife. There also goes the fact that Potter Sr. was a wizard and that may have pissed Snape off. **

**If that doesn't make sense… and believe I don't usually do… reply and give me the lowdown. After all this is so I can improve. **

**Constant Vigilance **

_"My job is to, like, think beyond the immediate." _

_-George W. Bush _

_Washington D.C. _

_April, 21/04 _

Severus Snape finds it disgusting here. The dust that collects reminds him of Hagrid's ploughed fields for his pumpkin patch.

There are fingerprints where people have unknowingly put their hands on the banister. The thought makes Severus Snape shudder. So what to do when there is dirt all over a degrading house?

That's right.

Find a cloth and start scrubbin'.

Which has currently turned dark grey because of the residue. Dumping it back into the bucket Severus Snape continues his wipe down of the kitchen. The chairs are still uneven, considering it was perhaps a year and a half ago that a wizard (who could have fixed the irritating problem) lived here. But Snape tries not to let it bother him because then he'll remember that he doesn't have a wand.

Potter hasn't shown up again. Yet three days of silence has calmed Snape that he isn't going to just keel over and die.

The sound of Severus Snapes' fingernails grinding at a black spot on the ebony wood floor is obscenely loud. It's bugging him enough that when he finally manages to get a piece of the black tar like substance up, it goes and lodges itself underneath his index finger. It hurts like a bitch.

Grinding his teeth and conquering the bastard that caused him pain, that trademark sneer was placed on his face.

------------------------------------

Severus Snape has a past. It's the first think you learn about a man with such a surly face. He's had a 'past' since the age of three, when his father broke his arm while drunk. His mother healed it with magic and his father waited approximately two years before breaking it again.

A lot of the horrible things have had to do with his father. The hurt, the pain, and the loneliness… his father poisoned him with hate before the age of ten. His mother fed him resentment for weakness and wanton lust for power.

Knowledge is power. That's what Grandfather Prince told him the one time Snape met him.

At the age of eight when most kids really don't know how to read well, Snape had devoured the teachings of Plato and Plutarch… when he turned twenty he realized that such things were not going to point him anywhere in his life.

At nine, he would find his mother's old school books in the attic and feed on them with a thirst for the wicked. The salty taste it would leave on his tongue made him hungry for more. Though it would be another two years before he could attach himself to something of higher substance.

When he did it was as if the fire in the core of the earth turned him over and threw ice on his heart.

Not to care meant his father's blows were nothing.

His mother's denial was only a dull ache in the deepest trenches of his mind.

Later it would help him with Potter and his Lame Game.

That was his past before one day everything became a little more.

Yet that's a story that brings on a headache. The last thing that Snape wants is a headache. Though the cleaning solution his open doesn't seem to help the prevention of one.

Slapping the cloth in the sink Snape turns to go back to his room.

-------------------------------------

He wakes only 45 minutes later to the sound of _very _loud and _very _rude voices.

**Shut the Fuck Up! **

_Ain't gonna get up and deliver a message to the infidels? _

Chuckling into the dark of his small room, Snape imagines the stereotypical depictions of crazed dictators. The stupid moustaches they all seem to have. The staccato sound of their voice…

------------------------------------

It's been a week and Snape has had the pleasure of not having to deal with anyone but that goddamned portrait. You know, the one that the ex- Professor wants to destroy…

Although knowing Potter he'll claim fake remorse and find some way to make Snapes' life hell.

The cleaning of the rabbit hole has gone quite well. It looks decent and continues to each day. Even if there's still a boggart in a chest that gave him trouble a day or so ago. But not counting the unknown creatures or bewitched objects that can't be dealt with without a wand.

It's still going along smoothly.

Snape doesn't eat. When he does he feels as though he's filled his stomach with concrete. It hurts and gives him a tummy ache.

When he can't sleep he goes to a window and blows till it fogs. Then he writes messages to himself like he did when he was a kid. Sometimes he'll write the truth, as Dumbledore knew it.

But mostly it is the truth, as he never told it.

After all how could The Old Fool understand what it meant to be Severus Snape (Death Eater, Broken Home, Snivellus, Half- Blood Prince…) what it meant to be a person of no known cause.

"Sssssssnnnnnaaaaappppaaaa?" Snape can feel his balls go back up in his body.

"Oh dear God, are you drunk?" He can't help the hoarse whisper and the fear that petrifies him.

Potter comes into view. The very vision of his father.

**No. This is a child. **

_Who controls your life. _

"Weeeeeerrree aaarrrrrgggg yyaa?"

Snape doesn't answer.

--------------------------------

There are things that should never be thought of since they are indeed the past events. Things that make one want to kneel in pain clutching the stomach that burns in agony.

Severus Snape could remember them. The lost memories that The Old Fool practically raped out of him, never mind the fact it kept him out of Azkaban.

There are probably memories that are in need of review. In order to up keep in reality and sanity it would be best to start soon.

Maybe he'll start tomorrow. He's not feeling too well right now.

Severus plays with the thought that it's old age coming to get him.

Then he sobers as he thinks that it's karma that comes around to get him.

------------------------------------------

Potter's brought him a radio.

He listens to it for a while on the classical music station.

Than goes for the classical rock that remind him of long hair and tight leather pants.

And for the first time Snape smiles. Remembering what was once the present but now is the past.

He looked up at one point to find Potter staring at him. The boy smiled at him then handed him a letter from Draco.

Severus Snape finds that he is content. For the first time since the Dark Lord gave rise.

But it doesn't bother him for some reason.

_Pfftt some spy you turned out to be._

**Shut up.**


	7. Help

**Help**

**Chpt. 7**

_What country helps fish to swim?_

_(Finland)_

_- some stupid joke I read._

Voldemort's War.

Why the hell does he get two?

It's like some sex fiend who won't give up even though he was nearly set on death row for raping.

But even more frustrating than a sex fiend who won't quit, is a seventeen-year-old boy who doesn't know to stop staring. It tempts Black Onyx to walk around naked in order to get those eyes off his back.

However it's the wrong approach. After the boy is seventeen and probably spent a great deal of that hating the man who was now at his mercy. Besides the boy is most likely trying to figure out why he let Severus Snape (the man who killed Albus Dumbledore) live in his godfather's house (Sirius Black the man who liked to torture unfortunate Slytherins) while the whole of the Wizarding World is trying to find and kill him.

It's a lot to handle.

Though Severus Snape is not the type to hand out sympathies.

Definitely not the type.

In fact the last time he tried to hand out sympathies he ended up killing Albus Dumbledore. Which just goes to show you that Severus Snape is the last person you want to hand out sympathies.

Which is probably why it's a rare occurrence. So when the infamous Harry Potter comes back to Grimmauld Place hoping for some peace and quiet Snape lets him have it. But it is when the Brat comes to him and tries to converse that Snape gets impatient and throws the bedroom door into the insolent boy's face.

It probably earns him a penalty in the minds of the Brat. But does Severus Snape care?

NNOOOOOO…

Only when the boy when the boy blasts the door down and storms into the room daring to look into his ex- Professor's eyes, does Snape care.

"How dare you treat me like I'm a worm…" at this Severus Snape lifts an eyebrow "I could've killed you and been entirely justified. So you _will _treat me with respect. Because I'm not the one who fell to my knees offering myself to a crazy killer."

Snape narrows his eyes at the green-eyed adolescent.

"Potter, what would you have me do?" At this Black Onyx comes into play. Stepping into the boy's personal space.

"Would you have me at your feet the way that he does? Hmm… perhaps you would have me on my knees the way that your godfather did…" Black Onyx smirked at the boy's shock, "You wouldn't know about that would you? No, such stories aren't for the ears of the young and naïve… but here let me show you something that I learned while I was incarcerated by the Dark Lord…"

Black Onyx takes the foolish boy's chin in his hands and brutally smashes their mouths together. It's rough and not at all what a kiss should be. The tongue that plunges into the mouth is just as ruthless. It is the kiss of whores, thieves and scoundrels. The boy is too shocked to do anything about it.

When Black Onyx releases him. He smirks.

"You might want to be careful around me… because the Dark Lord taught me to properly fuel hate. Your _Godfather _taught me what Hate can become…"

-----------------------------------------------------------

There are certain times in the dark and dreary night that Severus Snape actually wishes that someone were around so that he could tell that person his tales. The way that The Old Fool used to tell him his tales. Over tea that was too sweet and lemon drops that Severus Snape always secretly liked but would never think to tell anyone.

There are a lot of tales… like when he was 9 yrs old and his father brought him a broom and told him to learn to ride. Falling down and hurting oneself wasn't bad enough, but his cousin from his mother's family came out to see him.

Or the time that his father took him to go picking mushrooms only to be drunk the entire time and shot Severus in the foot. His mother was hysterical even after his father dutifully pointed out that she could just use magic to heal it.

There are the times that were more horrendous than what his father could produce.

But the biggest one has to be the one with Sirius Bloody Black…

When they were seventeen two years after the werewolf incident. Black somehow getting a hold of FireWhiskey and deciding to punish Snape.

Punishment. That's what Severus Snape has always thought of it. Not rape, which is what it, truly was.

Punishment is what the 'Crucio' is.

Perhaps that's why Severus Snape hates everything because he can't find anything to trust.

Well, he did with the Old Fool… but that's beyond the point.

The points not being clear enough to speculate anymore.

-----------------------------------------------------------

There are several things wrong with the scene when he walks into the kitchen.

One, there are several people sitting around the table.

Two, they are all staring at him.

Three, Draco is one of them.

Four, there's a Pensieve sitting on the table.

**_FUCKIN' POTTER! _**Is the only thing that Snape can think.

----------------------------------------------------------

Severus Snape doesn't like the way that Potter points the tip of his wand to Snapes' temple. He definitely doesn't care for the cold touch of the wand. The silver strands that come out. It leaves a sort of empty feeling in his head.

The way it swirls in the damned bowl pisses Severus Snape off. Usually it would remind him that he needs to make some potions, but seeing as how he can't see himself making any potions in the future Snape scowls darkly at the sickly colour.

He also hates the faces that pop up in the Pensieve. Dumbledore, his father, Voldemort, his own ten-year-old self.

When all of them, Draco included, put the tips of their wands into the Pensieve and lose all sense of their surroundings, Severus Snape takes the time to kick Potter hard in the shin.

It's only Severus Snape among these zombies for five minutes until the clock strikes noon and Snape gets up to go back to cleaning.

After what might have been an hour of scrubbing he looks up to see Potter and Draco staring at him with the utmost saddest faces on.

He scowls at both of them. Going to back to getting rid of stains in the carpet.

It bothers him that people know certain things of his life. Other than the Old Fool that is.

A sudden fear seizes him.

**Did they see me throw myself at HIM?**

_Dumbledore?_

**No, Santa Claus. Of course Dumbledore!**

_Probably._

**FUCK!**

His hand hurts and he thinks his nails broke the fabric in the cloth.

------------------------------------------------------------

Potter is sitting on the foot of his bed. Staring steadily at Snape. It's unnerving and the only thought that processes through is 'Sod Off!'

"You can do it back to me."

"And what is that Potter?"

"What Sirius did to you." At this the boy earns a sneer.

"Raping a minor? Excuse me, but even I have principles."

"You're a Death Eater."

"Get out."

"No."

"I will not touch you!"

"Fuck me."

"You… you…little…" Potter's too close for comfort. The black hair is all over the place highlighting the green eyes.

"I don't want to die a virgin. And you would like to exact revenge. I want to help you with your problem and you can help me with mine."

"I will not statutory rape someone twenty years my junior--"

"Nineteen."

"**_Twenty_** years my junior. Who happens to be the son of a school nemesis--"

"Godson."

"I hated your father too."

"Oh."

"You already knew that!"

"You're digressing."

"Don't patronize me!"

"Take me to bed."

"NO!"

Potter stands up from the bed so that he's right in front of Snape. The slender arms around the bony body pressing his body with brute force.

"I seen your memories Snape, you used sex as a way to defeat the human emotions you had. The fact that you lost your virginity to rape from Sirius didn't seem to stop you using your body to keep the Dark Lord from killing children. I have seen that memory too. I watched what your father did to your mother."

"So what you're saying is that you want to use sex to harden yourself too." Snape breathes this into Potter's ear. Feeling the slender body tremble.

"Yes."

"Then who am I to deny such a willing sacrifice?"

"I'm not a piece of meat."

Snape brushes the boy's hair from his ear and breaths in "No, you're just a stupid boy."

-------------------------------------------------------

The boy is on the bed. With the black hair spilled on to the pillow.

_He needs a haircut._

**Careful. I might get ideas.**

Snape instructed him to open his bare legs and allow his hole to be visible for him. The boy's very prominent erection weeping. The chest breathing deeply and shallow breathes being taken by those lips.

It's suppose to be just sex. Not pleasure. Of course the fact that if he hurts the boy, Potter being much stronger than he, and he ends up impaled on a stake does make him want this to be somewhat pleasurable.

He takes Potter's wand in his hand and points it to the boy's body. There's no flinch and the aroused boy is not at all alarmed. He waves the wand for a spell that he knew well enough 16 years ago.

The soft intake of air is not hard to miss. When the lubricant is in there Severus Snape uses his fingers to find the prostate gland. When the body arches its back and moans deeply Snape knows he's found his mark.

Positioning himself he thrusts in without further ado. Not bothering to adjust Snape plummets the boy.

After all this is to make the boy stronger.

After a while Severus chances a look at the boy underneath him.

The eyes just stare behind the glasses that Snape insists he wear.

Grabbing the hip and leg Snape adjusts and smashes into the boy. When he hits the prostate gland the boy lets out a high pitch scream and comes while still trying to impale himself on Snape.

When all is done, Snape still hold the leg and stares at the green eyes that dare to stare back.

He tries to use Leglimacy, but the boy is stronger now.

Sex to Severus Snape is just sex. And he tells this insolent boy that while the semen dries around his hand.

----------------------------------

A/n: I'm sorry for the last scene. It's not very good.


	8. Dreams

**A/N: ya'll should review me. And read The Article. And support Adbusters…. _I _should do my homework… **

**Chapt. 8 **

**Dreams **

_I dream of you when I am sleeping, _

_That is why I always wake up screaming. _

The Past. Really, it was only the Seventies to Severus. Before everything screwed up and he found himself being a prisoner to a 17 yr old boy who had nymphomaniac tendencies. Black Onyx likes to think of the boy as a toy. Whilst Snape likes to revel in the fact he's fucking all of his old enemies Golden Boy.

True, it is more like being a whore to the Golden Boy. Since the boy has decided not to be topped by a Death Eater anymore. Which makes no sense to Snape but whose he to complain if it keeps him out of Azkaban and alive? It isn't spectacular and not very good since every time the boy shows himself to his room he tends to leave as soon as he's done with no consideration to Snape. Not that the sallow skinned man minds it. The sex is too awkward and the boy doesn't use enough lubrication. Though gathering that the boy tends to claw at his hips till they bruise, Potter seems to enjoy well enough.

Sometimes when Snape is alone in the House of Black he goes into the bathroom and looks critically at himself. The sallow sick skin, the yellowed crooked teeth. The thin lips, the dark bags underneath the eyes. His eyebrows are fine and his forehead not too high and without a widow's peak. There is a shadow of a beard coming in but he doesn't even bother with taking it away.

Looking at the teeth he suddenly wants an entire crater of cigarettes. Also he wouldn't object to some strong coffee instead of the tea shit that is in this house.

No decent person with the intellect of a twelve year old would drink that tea.

Or any tea.

Severus Snape hates tea.

The Old Fool seemed to swim in it sometimes.

Along with the drugged lemon drops. Which the Ex- Potions Master brewed himself.

-------------------------------------

Black Onyx finds that if you look long enough you can pinpoint where Einstein received his theory of relativity when it came to how the sky is blue. Where the molecules connect and the formulae's are created.

Chemical reaction like the anger that boils away at Snape when Potter asks.

"Where did you get all of the scars?"

"None of your business." The sneer in his voice is very prominent.

The boy shouldn't even think that he could have the audacity to talk to him. Not even when Snape is underneath him on his knees like the whore he's always been.

"You live in my house!"

"As compensation, isn't fucking me good enough?" Snape knows that this is a sore spot for the younger male. But it's a sore spot he likes to stab…

"Fine, be that way!" Then being the seventeen-year-old boy that this imbecile is he goes and continues to thrust into Snape.

The fact the boy was able to stop to ask questions still amazes Snape. He knows for a fact that he couldn't have done that.

------------------------------------------------------------

There is an Order of the Phoenix meeting tonight.

It reminds him of when he was a child and there were meetings between his mother and father. When he was shunned to the side. When his parents decided what to do about him without his knowing or consenting to it. Like when he was 11 and his mother didn't want him to go to Hogwarts and his father insisted.

For many years of his adolescence Severus found himself hating his father for that decision.

He hates his father for many reasons. Nearly all of them for the lack of control Severus was given. For the way that he had to spend his life in bitterness, loneliness and desperation. Even at the age of 38 Severus Snape is a bitter man who hates and blames his father… because it's all a cycle isn't it? A cycle that has a place to start…

That's why he killed the bastard.

Not that he wants to think about how he conceived such and idea at the age of 17. But there wasn't any other sort of plan he had. No other course of action that he could have taken. Or wanted to take.

So he killed the son of a bitch. But not with his wand.

No. He wouldn't play into his father's hands like that.

He got him drunk and slit his throat.

No potions. No wand. No gun.

Something painful. That would make him scream and try to hurt his only son. Something that would make the blood flow and Snape could rid himself of the thought that his blood coursed through _man's _veins. Because seeing flow out in such darkness would assure that Severus Snapes' blood was no longer apart of this pathetic man's existence…

There are other reasons for such revenge. But some of them are too painful to recall.

And Black Onyx has a headache that demands attention.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Draco Malfoy. His godson and the boy he was sworn to protect. His student and the only one he was able to save.

Or so he was given the impression of.

The poor boy's a spy now. With a gnarled face from hexes thrown at him by both sides.

How could Severus Snape allow this to happen?

Well there is an answer but Black Onyx scoffs at it. After all weakness should not be apart of his life.

The boy's an idiot. Just like everyone else…

Or so he starts screaming at the blonde.

Who screams just as loudly back?

"AND WHO ARE YOU TO CALL ME AN IDIOT! YOU DID IT TOO!"

"_I_ WILL CALL YOU WHATEVER THE FUCK THAT I WANT! YOU ARE A YOUNG MAN WHO SHOULD HAVE KNOWN BETTER THAN TO…"

_Slap! _

The sound resonates through the entire room. It is an awkward shock to have his face slapped by a boy who has been like a son to him since his birth.

But Severus Snape and Black Onyx have their pride. Striding out of the room making sure that the effect is exaggerated by the shitty robes Potter gave him.

-------------------------------------------

The second most meddling person that Snape has ever met has been The Werewolf. The git has the nerve to come up to talk to him in _his _after that outrageous performance that Draco threw on.

"Severus, Draco must do this. We no longer have spy--"

"So you would send a 17 year old to die!"

"-- We aren't sending him off to die. We are trying to--"

"No. You are killing off the boy so that you may save Harry Fucking Potter" Maybe he shouldn't have spat this out the way that he did since the boy must definitely be listening.

"… Can't you ever let go of the past?"

"And pray, which past would that be?"

"…Severus…"

"Would you have me on my knees like when we were 15 sucking you off?"

The werewolf says nothing and when he finally looks at Snape with the embarrassed and ashamed eyes, the door opens to reveal a very furious looking Potter.

"I'll deal with him Remus."

"---Harry---"

"I said I'll deal with him." The boy doesn't even look at The Werewolf as he shows him to the bedroom door. More like pushing him through it. Then the look of murder is placed upon Severus Snape.

"Get your clothes off." The words are pointless considering the boy waves his hand and both of their clothes fall away.

Shoving the man onto the bed and straddling him. The boy touches Snapes unresponsive organ. Springing to life on it's own accord, Severus Snape curses the damned thing. Running his hands on it the boy gets Snape excited before getting up and crawling onto the organ without any preparation.

"…What are you doing!" Severus Snape tries to get the boy off of him but the boy impales himself more. Making the thin lips and yellowed teeth open to let out a surprised gasp. The boy continues his action without a grimace and determined set of mind. The dryness of the situation lessening because of Snapes' precome.

It continues for a while before cries out a strangled word and desolves into tired satiation. The boy leans back his black hair plastered to his porcelain skin, the green emerald eyes burning a hole through Snape as he brings himself off on Snape.

Snape doesn't seem to notice that the door is being hammered on and his hands are digging holes into the boy's hips…

-------------------------------------------------------------

Kingsley Shacklebot is the man who finally brings what Black has been waiting for.

The Beginning of the End for Severus Snape…

It's a relief really. He was starting to think that his life had become a teenage angst dream. The type that involves sex and a lot of angst…

Dear God, he would never be able to deal with that.

-------------------------------------

**A/N: I'm doing a war scene in this story. I didn't want it to become a love story but I decided that it would be interesting if SS/HP were fucking. Besides I found it boring in that house. **

**Review me! I've started a new story Ain't it a Shame. But I'll continue with this one as well. Same with Article (hint hint)**


	9. I Am Not

**A/N: OK honestly I don't really consider the whole Voldemort thing an actual war… all this considering a war involves more than two sides in… check it out if you don't agree with me. **

**Chapt. 9 **

**I am wounded **

**But I am not slain. **

****

**_- Tommy Douglas. _**

**_The Greatest Canadian _**

****

Black Onyx is furious that he is not allowed to join the war. After all he is one of the instigators who started the entire thing in the first place… but no…

There is a lot of things that Severus Snape says to Potter about how fucked up the boy is if he thinks that Severus Snape a Death Eater is going to be stopped from going to War. The boy fights back saying that there was no chance in hell that either the Ministry or the Dark Side is going to allow him to live after the fact that they both are convinced he's a traitor to both sides.

Severus Snape doesn't like it when the boy tries to reason with him.

But he plays along allowing the Order to commence in their obtrusive way. Though they have more than enough glares and snarls for Snape after they found out about the real extent of his 'relationship' with Potter. Which in all honesty he flaunts whenever he can.

It's surprising a lot of the time.

He likes to have those people who despise him think him the Greatest Thing To Walk The Earth Since Sliced Bread (A/N: There's a joke to that one, but it doesn't make any sense here.) consort. --- It's gratifying to see the werewolf; the boy whose heart Severus would have killed to have at sixteen completely clamoured at the idea of James Potter's son in bed with Snivellus.

Which is the only reason that Severus Snape shows his sagging sallow mug around the House of Black. Just to see all of those people's faces flabbergasted (A/N: favourite all time word!) at the fact that Snape managed to seduce (Ha! Yeah-right) Harry Potter whose heart has been limited to two girls both of which fell down the drain. One of whose heart is right on her sleeve when she walks into Number 12 Grimmauld place and sees Snape.

It makes the urge to kiss Potter's cheek and pretend to be a snarky 14-year-old brat all the more appealing.

But… it's Potter's cheek.

Even the thought of it is repulsive.

Though Black Onyx supposes that the true irony is that Snape can bed the boy but otherwise can't stand the thought of being in the same room as him.

Yet, as Sirius Black the Dog Who Finally Was Put To Sleep once surmised that 'Snivellus doesn't ever make any sense.'

-----------------------------------------------------------------

"Potter how will I be able to prove my innocence--"

"You're not innocent."

"_If _I don't fight for what is right!" OK so Severus Snape stole that from a line during the seventies feminist era.

"Since when the hell do you care for what is right!"

Cue the smirk.

"Since always Potter."

"Whatever. You are still not going."

"And you think that you can stop me." For some reason Snape is intrigued and more than a little amused.

"I told you that you are not to go!"

"I WILL NOT HAVE MY LIFE DICTATED BY A FOOL!"

"YOU'VE BEEN NOTHING BUT A FOOL!"

"FUCK OFF!"

"YOU ARE NOT GOING!"

"**I **WILL GO. WHETHER OR NOT THE GOD OF THE FUCKING WORLD DEEMS IT TO BE!"

"I DON'T CARE!"

"You will not stop me." The abrupt bout of calmness has startled the green eyes that burn from that face.

------------------------------------

There is very little satisfaction for Snape when Potter has Snape penetrate him once again. Though the act is clearly better for both of them, the knowledge that Potter wants to face Snape during this because he harbours _feelings _for the older far greasier man disturbs Snape.

So while the boy sleeps off his exhaustion in the double bed in a room that clearly isn't the one Snape sleeps in. After all like Snape would want everything to be so… _white. _

Anyways Snape doesn't care about the décor.

What he cares about is slipping out from Potter and getting to the front door.

------------------------------------

The actual getting out from under Potter is easier than he would imagine. The boy just mumbled and said 'Hurry up' under the pretence that Snape was going to the bathroom. Which made Black Onyx chuckle evilly…

Going to the front door with all of his clothes in place and managing to turn the handle before Mrs. Black started screaming… was a bit too much to hope for. Obviously if you could tell by the way that Potter ran down the stirs naked and looking murderous at Snape for either disturbing his sleep or for trying to get happily away from him.

So when the Bitch Under The Curtain is silenced Snape couldn't help but cringe internally at the sort of trouble he's going to be in. Granted he knew that it wasn't going to be that bad considering the boy thought of him as a lover would. A complete lack in judgement in the eyes of Snape.

"Where do you think you were going?" The boy hisses it in the way that tells Snape he's crossed the line.

Severus Snape knows that he isn't supposed to answer. So he doesn't.

When he reaches the boy and brings him close enough that the red cherry lips open to hiss what he suspects are words of Parselmouth Snape just brings him closer and leans to capture those lips. The boy is quickly after Snapes' clothes and running his hands over the exposed skin.

Black Onyx knows the rules of this game and whispers it in the mind ears of Severus Snape.

"Going to the bedroom" Snape whispers it silkily in the way that he knows is the Art of Seduction. After about twenty years the voice has never lost its momentum nor him a warm body for the night.

Giving the boy a moment to check his lust in to Apparate them to the bedroom where the boy pushed Snape down. Black Onyx gives the boy his most brilliant smile and flips them over so that he straddles the boy and pins the small hands above his head.

Then he proceeds to kiss the body underneath him and build up the boy's need.

Then he fucks the already prepared boy until they are both sweating and crying softly…

It's the first time that Harry Potter has made love and not just fucked or had sex…

But Black Onyx doesn't care as he makes the boy tired beyond belief and then Stupefy's the idiotic boy.

It takes a while to break the boy's wards.

But finally Black Onyx is free.

a/n: There are 16 chapters in this story.


	10. The Spy

Chapter 10

An octopus is the most intelligent invertebrate.

- Biology Class

Severus Snape is not a fool. He is not at all naïve and cannot really be tricked.

Why? Because he knows all the tricks. After all of all his many talents being a very good two face was his greatest.

That is why he created two different personas.

Severus Snape. Professor of Potions; former Student of Hogwarts; the reformed yet trusted Death Eater of Albus Dumbledore.

Then there was Black Onyx. The persona that really wasn't a persona, after all it became to be nothing but some sort of shield. His ultimate defence for Legimancy, the more than plausible tavern of the knowledge that the small Prince gathered.

Harvested rather.

Severus Snape was not a handsome child. He was not a very outgoing child. He was an unfortunate child. With no social skills to harmer his inner ambitions, he suffered somewhat when that time to create alliances came. He was irritable and harsh even when he wasn't irritated. Easily agitated and too honest with the words that came from his mouth.

For all the lessons that were taught to him in the past, table manners proper etiquette how one should present them, honesty is the best policy was the one Severus Snape chose to use. At the wrong times.

Yet even decades later Severus Snape will not allow himself to succumb to pitiful lying. After all it is the omissions and the cleverness where one may still save face.

Or at least that's what Severus Snape thought.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

In truth there are very few people in the world who Snape can honestly say that are even more repulsive as he can be. One former rat/Gryffindor is one of the few people. The small beady eyes, jumpy skin… the man makes even the air around him go clammy and uncomfortable. Snape cannot stop himself from insulting the disgusting little man, even in front of the Dark Lord who he's forfeited his life to. Though the Dark Lord laughs and agrees it is one of his cold acknowledgments.

The little house at the end of the near deserted and impoverished alley of Spinner's End looks even more shabby and broken looking in the twilight. The house itself was never very quaint; it was adequate and served its purpose.

Severus Snape could not say that he was happy there. Not while growing up with the resentment he had of his father. And resent his own father Severus Snape does. A man who loves the drink better than his own family has always angered Snape. Though he'd never be the one to admit it, but Arthur Weasley at least does it right.

Snape refuses to feel sorry for him. Mainly because to feel sorry for himself would be pointless, creating nothing as it's final product.

Wormtail. Even his 'friends' thought of him as a joke. Not that the fool would have recognized such emotions.

Severus Snape does think that Wormtail is quite a fool.

And the man proves this by stepping out of the cottage and onto the open street. Not that Severus Snape bothers to kill him at that time. Not without a wand. Fucking Potter.

Snape remembers how to get into the old house from the side and what window doesn't actually ever lock. The rust sticking into his fingers. When he manages to get into the house without any noise at all he goes for a cupboard on the other side of the room. The blackness of this room is a smart reminder of the man who slinks along its shadows. This man is a spy. This man is a traitor. This man is truly Severus Snape.

Like a spy novel. One that Severus Snape is the hero only no one knows it.

When he manages to get the cupboard and slide the small back of it. Taking out a wand that he stuck there back nearly eighteen years ago.

Once again Severus Snape is slinking along the shadows. Walking slowly to where the shadow of a short stocky man sits as the lazy slob that he is. When Snape raises his hand with the much practiced swift of his arm. The man falls without so much as a ceremony. That god awful silver hand making only a small 'thud'.

Grabbing the body and apparating to Knockturn Alley where he knows that will be the most offensive place for the Death Eaters to find one of their own. It is mainly to show those people that he may be in exile of being either evil or good but he is not going down without a fight. The symbolism cannot be missed.

Unless of course you are Goyle or Crabbe.

Manoeuvring the body so that it leaning up against the tree is something that Snape doesn't do with his wand. Creating binds to use on the body so that it may be tied up to the tree right in front of the entrance of Knockturn Alley.

Snape thinks that it will suffice of for a threat.

Or maybe a promise. 


	11. Pourquoi?

Chpt.11

A/N: I'm going to be doing this fast. That means I'll be adding chapters together for this one. Mainly because when I wrote the outline of this story I didn't really put much thought into how long the chapters would actually be. I don't like them short.

Pourquoi le fleur?

-I'm never gonna pass French.

Running is hard on the lungs that protest such a thing. It makes Severus Snape wheeze and cough up fluids that should stay down in his body. Not that he'll be one to complain. After all it's his own stupidity that has lead to him to fall as this.

It hurts but he'll continue to run for his life because it is indeed his life that he's trying to save. Running out of time and trying to elude the idiots behind him. After all who is the smart one. The traitor who only forfeited their lives for knowledge or the renewed Death Eaters who've spent half of their lives in Azakban going crazy? It's a question that just screams out it's answer.

Years of lurking in the halls for students has made it so that Severus Snape is very quick and quiet on his feet. The body structure of a cat has enabled it so that he is able to curve his body at the sharp corners.

Yet years of smoking and brewing potions have made it so that his lungs contract against his ribs painfully. So Severus is forced to do something he knows won't work.

He turns around and throws hexes at them. The mad people start throwing 'Crucio' at Severus while he tries to get to the other side of the wall.

The cobbled street is dark and reminds Severus Snape about the stories that he heard when he was a kid. Running faster he can hear the cars go by.

He remembers the colour of Muggle police cars from when he was a kid. And he hopes that they now carry the guns they didn't when he was a boy. He hopes that everything will be OK despite the fact that the now grown up Severus Snape knows that nothing is ever alright. But that doesn't bother to slow him down. Even when the sky flashes emerald green and he knows what has happened to the Muggle police that have tried to stop his chasers.

As he runs he hopes that his old body doesn't give out.

But he makes it to the shop that harboured his passion all those years Ago. The Apothecary where Severus Snape secretly always wanted to work. Not that he would admit to such a triviality.

Smashing into the door is not an option neither is the Apparation. So instead he slinks to the back of the alley and finds the back door. Where he proceeds to use lock spells that he figured out when he was a Fifth Year. These spells no one can detect because no one else knows them. It makes Severus rather proud that he had never really become pigheaded enough to have the need to show others what he was truly capable of creating.

Then again maybe if he had all things would have turned out different.

When the wood splinters silently and the lock gives just as silent. Snape slips into the dark. He uses a 'Lumos' in order to move around.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

There are many things that Severus Snape knows. Most of them to do with the chemical concoctions of potions. He revels in this fact and has always taken the most pride in what he has been able to create.

Draught of the Living Modified. It makes Severus Snape nostalgically at how when he was sixteen he would get pissed off trying to figure out the chemical properties such a potion would need.

The Draught of the Living in itself is a complex potion that requires a certain amount of magical properties that are hard to get ahold of. But at sixteen Severus Snape couldn't have possibly gotten a hold of those ingredients. So instead he put to work a way to create the solution without having to use the damned ingredients. And he did, he figured out the why the dragon's blood had the same sort of reaction to sodium as potassium benzote did. He created out charts that would have the potions enhanced or the potions that were too strong so that it was lessened.

The Draught of the Living Modified is the Draught of the Living but instead of making it so that the drinker of the potion was rendered unconscious and their bodies stilling the magic, it worked in a different way. It made the drinker do what it is physically possible and makes it so that the drinker's magic is unleashed to the fullest.

The theory behind that one was one that Severus Snape worked hard on. That everyone has a bit of magic but everyone has a cavern in which to drink it from. Most people have enzymes in place to keep complete control of the magic while some people don't. The potion acts as a bomb to that enzyme making the drinker out of control with the magic.

Severus Snape never thought he would actually create such a potion so he never thought a head to the thought of having a human being out there that would be the strongest magically and not be able to control themselves.

He didn't think of it then, and he won't think about it now.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Beginning of Chapter 12

-------------------------------------------------------------------

"Where the hell have you been!" The boy really needs to do something about his voice. He should have gone through puberty a long time ago.

Severus doesn't say anything. Not about the ratty state of his dress or the fact that he's covered in a small sheet of dried sweat. The smells coming off of him must be repulsive, but that doesn't stop the man from leaning forward and forcefully kissing the small boy in front of him.

Thank God for the hormones that allow Snape to shift the vial from the boy's notice.

When the boy moans into the deepening kiss Snape knows that it is time to move this to the bedroom. Except he can't think of a way to get up the stairs without breaking the spell he's seemed to have cast on the boy. When the boy grinds his hips into Snape, the older man hisses and crushes the boy into his body.

All thought goes out the window as Severus Snape forces the boy onto the kitchen table and proceeds to throwing the willing legs wide apart and ripping the pyjamas off the small body.

Fucking the boy is an enjoyable act that Severus doesn't think he'll ever really tire of. After all the boy is quite beautiful with his mouth gasping for more and his body laid bare and for the taking. The mussed black hair and the burning green eyes. Snape always thought the eyes were like Lily's. But other than that the boy was entirely his father.

-----------------------------------------------------------------

The boy is a wanton slut when he screams his completion. Snape continues to pound into the now reddened bottom. It's as if he wants to rip the boy open. Though with a tight cavern like that it is a wonder that Snape hasn't come before this.

When he does he uses the opportunity to look at the boy who stares lazily and drowsily up at him.

---------------------------------------------------------------------

Severus knows that teenaged boy's need time to recover. Though he realizes that they recover very quickly so he must work just as quickly. Casting spells that would make no sense to people who've studied and taught spells. Grabbing vials and taking out syringes that he nicked from the Apothecary and such. He uncaps one of the vials that has a thick deep crimson colour to it. Taking the boy's arm and poking it with the syringe Severus Snape pushes emptying the contents into the big blue vein that stands out on the alabaster.

He does it with the other vial that has a metallic blue colour to it.

Dragon's blood mixed in with mercury would kill any werewolf or vampire that would seek to take that neck between their teeth. There is some sort of risk in this. One that means that the boy's body could die from such blood infusions that are not meant for the human body. And the one where this has never been tested.

You could say that the boy is to Severus Snape as a white mouse is to a Vancouver scientist.

Severus Snape wonders if this means that he is a colder person that everyone previously thought. Since this is a boy that has taken him as a lover and has saved his life and whose life has meant more the Severus Snape than he would ever want to think. But then Severus Snape remembers that all the things that he has done from nineteen and on have been for a reason. Whether or not they were good reasons, they were still there.

Getting up and pouring himself a much-needed vodka Severus Snape can nearly feel the weight of the world on his narrow shoulders.

--------------------------------------------------------------------

Chapter 13

-------------------------------------------------------------------

When the boy awakens he wants to speak to Snape. Not that the older man would permit such a thing. After all Severus Snape isn't really one for confrontation as history has told again and again.

The more the boy insists the more Severus Snape shuts down. Not responding knowing that the magical power coursing through the boy is making him restless and frustrated. So that in only a short amount of time the boy will leave Severus Snape to go and do what he's been needed to do since he was a child. Finally the boy gives up and threatens Severus if he is to leave this godforsaken house again by giving the older man over to the Ministry to do with him whatever they would. Severus knows that such a pig headed threat is not something that would happen. After all according the rules of the game he now belongs to his new master Harry Potter.

It makes him want to scream knowing that he will never be able escape his years of servitude. Especially to a brat.

But it'll only be a short amount of time before he is fully free of any servitude to any man creature or biological living thing.

--------------------------

"The boy really is an idiot."

Using simple wards to confide Severus Snape. With a near sweep of his arm he is able to break all the wards. When he finishes with that he continues on in his journey.

-------------------------

Severus Snape figures that joining with his old friends in fighting the so called 'Good Side'. Of course this means explaining why he did what he did to Wormtail and the whole chase.

Which he refuses to do.

Instead he puts his mask up and the cloak and goes through the motions that he so remembers.

If he was forced under the Truth Potion Severus Snape would tell that he loves the way he is able to snap the end of robe. It makes him feel very godlike and beyond anyone's control.

Besides he always thought it kinda looked cool.

---------------------

There are reasons why people die. Severus Snapes' will never be sickness or natural causes and he knows this. Beyond a doubt does he know this. And he fully accepts such a thing.

Severus Snape, Half Blood Prince, Black Onyx alas,

A finale worthy of nothing really.

Perhaps if the audience can throw the flowers out the window? The show has stolen your money. Because nothing has been learned but the sad sigh of a man who never really changed. Nor did he get what he really wanted. Which was Knowledge.

Nor did he ever seek for what The Old Fool always preached about.

The play is about to be over.

No more masks. No more other personas to intake.

Nothing more.

Perhaps not even the nonsense of the things that are idiotic. 


	12. Finale

Chapter 14

Severus Snape does not need to be a Seer to know what is happening.

They're losing and nothing could save them from doing otherwise. It makes the entire War ironic knowing that there will be a winning side that really has no competition. After all they are the 'Good Side' and good wills always prevail. Despite the fact that the concept of 'Good' varies to the power in control.

Snape decided on a whim to be on the Good Side. Then on another whim to be the villains in the story; it is a role that Severus Snape is very good at.

----------------------------------------

Fenrir Greyback is nothing more than an uncivilized savage. Attacking people without a wand and only the use of his hands and teeth. It would an OK picture if he wasn't in human form when attacking these people. But then again the man is a werewolf and maybe all werewolves abhor to such things.

Severus Snape will admit that it is quite entertaining to see this savage attack Potter. The brutal savage lunging at the tense figure of a seventeen year old boy. It is even more entertaining to see the poison attack Greyback as his eye sockets burst out blood and his flesh cave in on his body. The howl and scream is more than Severus can take however so he occupies himself with not being hit by an opposing Auror.

What surprises the seemingly stable Severus Snape is when he comes face to face with Alastor 'Mad- Eye' Moody.

To be honest he had held hope that the old man would be dead. Yet the old man is there limping with agility that even Severus Snape can't seem to muster. Bending his wand hand right at Severus and snapping his arm in the now recognizable Silent Avada Kedrava.

Only the green flash doesn't actually hit Severus. Instead he can feel a body go thump right behind him. The long silver blonde hair hitting the back of Severus' robes.

"Constant Vigilance Snape!"

What an odd old man.

But then, everyone is odd these days.

-------------------------------------------

There's an Auror right in front of him. Severus Snape doesn't know where his wand is. It fell when he tripped over a body he didn't bother to identify.

Young and determined looking the wand is right in aim of his chest.

The light this time isn't green, but a fading out black.

---------------------------------------------

Chapter 15

----------------------------------------

When thought is restored to Snape he cannot believe the pain he feels in his aching bones. It bothers him because no one should feel arthritis when they die. It's like an unspoken agreement one makes with Death.

Yet sitting up is hard because Severus has a bad back at the present time.

After about two hours of trying to get up without breaking his back Severus Snape surveys the chaos around him.

Bodies that haven't been picked up and broken reminisce of either wands or some other form of wood.

Severus Snape is trying to think of where in the world this place is. Not near Muggles no, but somewhere.

His head is aching and he thinks that he hit it hard when he fell down.

The sky is clear and without any fog. Smog. Disgusting pollution.

Ah, so not England to be sure.

Severus Snape always though he was a mass pile of bones. But he never thought that those bones could have weighed him down as they are now. It's dancing devils on his hip which feels as if it had been dug into.

He's staring at his feet when he walks into the black soot of something. He has no idea what it could be but is going to assume by the white teeth in the charred soot it was that Snake that the Dark Lord insisted on keeping.

Thank Merlin, its finally dead. It always did creep out Severus when the Dark Lord would talk to it or show any acknowledgment that should've been for humans.

---------------------------------------------

Potter isn't around to gloat over his dead.

Not that the noble Gryffindor would. After all that's more of a Slytherin thing to do anyways.

The boy is probably in the Hospital Wing crying his heart out because he never thought it would come to this. Either that or he's angsting away in typical teenage fashion that this would never be over.

'This' what is it?

Severus Snape doesn't know and doesn't even bother in pretending to care.

So he'll do what he did the last time.

Just go around and look at the identities of the bodies and see if he can match them to a memory. It's a sick game but one that will calm him down nonetheless.

He can find Longbottom no problem. Junior not Senior after all didn't the insane one die in the attack against St. Mungo's. Bellatrix is not very far along and Severus can't help but hope that the boy gave her something to be afraid of. He finds only two Weasley's. The girl and one of the twins.

The girl was to be the future wife of Harry Potter. The boy is the twin of a set of brothers that were to give laughter to a society that will sorely need it in the oncoming years.

How sad this world is.

But Severus Snape still doesn't care.

----------------------------------------------

Epilogue

---------------------------------------------

The cell smells like the dungeons did. It reminds Severus that he's always been in a prison. Whether or not it was Hogwarts or his parents house it was his servitude to the Dark Lord.

This prison makes him less angry and more nostalgic than all the others. Maybe because it is to determine his fate… which will only take a matter of moments.

When the Aurors come and lead him to where a bunch of people sit in rows against the walls Severus Snape remembers that he has his pride. That was something that no one was able to steal away from him.

So when the Minister for Magic stands up and asks Snape what he would have him do. Severus Snape says

"I am Guilty. I know no shame."

How sad that such a thing may be true.

The babble breaks out and somehow along the way it is determined there will be no trial for a guilty man.

----------------------------------------

It only takes a few meals before it is set up.

The wood and plank…

A noose worthy of a Death Eater.

It is situated in Hogsmeade and Severus knows that's because it will serve as a warning to any rogue Death Eaters that are planning more attacks.

Black Onyx says to just fuck it and get this thing over with.

Severus Snape bows his head as an Olympian would for a gold metal. Only his metal isn't gold and it certainly won't win him any esteem. No it's a metal that he's only worked haphazardly to get.

When he lifts his head and stares over the masses of head that catcall stare stonily back Severus Snape can't quite say that he's regretted anything in his life.

Except The Boy.

-----------------------------------------

Harry Potter is as meddling as both of his parents. Standing up at the podium and making the entire crowd hush and think.

"…Snape is a man who made decisions based on the fact that he was a Slytherin. The prejudice that lives in this World has made it so that he had no choice but to become sullen and forced into making choices not based on what he really wanted.

I speak of him like this because I love him. I, another person who has had every reason to hate the man who killed Albus Dumbledore and who helped in the death of my parents… I am willing to love this man because he's never known anything but hate…"

Severus Snape hates excessive babbling.

So he just steps off the podium knowing with a smirk that the fall would break his neck.


End file.
